Kryptonite

Tiny Varitek Child #1: Daddy, I want a pony.

Tek: Now honey, you know that you're not old enough to take of a pony right now.

Tiny Varitek Child #1: *throws chin high fast ball*

Tek: *looks at child sitting happily on pony, confused*


Tiny Varitek Child #2: Daddy, I want this guy to sing at my birthday.

Tek: Absolutely not. That is not for children.

Tiny Varitek Child #2: Hmmph! *throws chin high fastball*

Tek: *covers the eyes of children and wife as singing occurs*


The baby: Daa! Yeep Papeeee!!!!

Tek: Oh, yes you are the funniest baby in the world. Silly, babies can't get David Ortiz tattoos! Hee hee!

The baby: *throws chin high fastball*

Tek: *blinks rapidly as he inspects his tattooed and blinged out baby*


Tek: *wanders into kitchen* Honey, I had the weirdest day today. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm dreaming or awake.

Mrs. Tek: Jason, I thought I asked you to mow the lawn.

Tek: I will, I promise. But it's really hot out today and I'd like to watch my new Civil War documentary DVD this afternoon while I have some time off.

Mrs. Tek: *narrows eyes, throws chin high fastball*

Tek: *suddenly finds himself on riding lowmower* Dammit.