Wednesday, February 01, 2006

6 more weeks of beer

February 1, 2006

To: Red Sox Team Members
From: HR
Re: Recent behavior

Gentlemen,

February is upon us, and I have been informed that you are all too acutely aware of what the second day of February is. Groundhog's Day is a delightful American tradition and a time for quaint celebration.

It is not a time for making fun of your teammates. Asking Mr. Wells if he is ready to see his shadow is rude and will not be tolerated. Also, please note that because spring training starts incredibly soon, stating that if Mr. Wells does see his shadow that it will be six more weeks of drinking is poor form.

Finally, please note that making size jokes about someone who could place you inside of a locker or hang you from the shower head by your underpants is ill advised.

Thank you,

HR

NB: Mr. Clement's inhaler is missing again. If anyone should find it, I am sure you are all well aware of the drill.